Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
