Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
