Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
