Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
