Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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