Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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