They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
