Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
