He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
