What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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