we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
