she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
