2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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