If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
