Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
