Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize