NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
