Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
