you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
