I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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