Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
