There is no way he is gay with that hair.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
