it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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