So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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