Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
