whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
