So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
