Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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