before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
