I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
