you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
