No stitches, just platelets and will power
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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