first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
