yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
nutella sex= disaster
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
