I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
