Pants 0. Shit 1.
he thought i was a dude.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
