go do what you do best...puke behind churches
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
