I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize