his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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