the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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