I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
