Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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