ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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