I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
