Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
