we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
