Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize