dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
