Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
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