I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
