Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
