Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
it's like iHOP with fire
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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