Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
