so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You've changed since you got that strap on
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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