Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
