i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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