I need help removing her.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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