OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
