so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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