North Korea, Best Korea!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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