Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
